McWhirter elopements

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How to include your family in your elopement

Is it possible to include my family in my elopement?

You can still achieve the intimate, natural elopement you want while still being surrounded by your closest family and friends. Your day will be unique, emotional, and unforgettable.

Just keep in mind that you may have to adapt your location depending on the physical abilities and ages of your guests. Another option I offer couples is an adventure session before or after their ceremony—exchange vows surrounded by family, and then we’ll head out on a hike for a secluded photoshoot! This gives couples the best. They can still share their day, while also creating a private adventure to look back on with no regrets!

Including your family with your elopement.

While the concept of eloping might suggest a private affair, including family adds a meaningful layer to the celebration. Shared moments create lasting memories, and having loved ones present, even virtually, can enhance the joy of the day.

Communicating Your Elopement Plans:

The first step in planning an elopement with family is effective communication. Here's how to navigate this crucial aspect:

1. Honesty is the Best Policy:

Be open and honest about your decision to elope. Share your reasons, whether it's a desire for intimacy, a connection to a specific location, or simply a personal preference. This transparency lays the foundation for understanding.

2. Timing is Key:

Choose an appropriate time to discuss your elopement plans. Avoid springing the news on family members unexpectedly. Consider a casual family gathering or a dedicated conversation to ensure everyone has the time and space to process the information.

3. Addressing Concerns and Questions:

Anticipate that some family members may have concerns or questions. Be prepared to address them with patience and empathy. Common concerns might include feeling excluded, missing out on the celebration, or simply not understanding your choice.

Managing Expectations:

Managing expectations is a delicate art, especially when envisioning a non-traditional wedding. Here are practical tips:

1. Set Clear Boundaries:

Clearly define the level of involvement you desire from family members. Whether it's virtual participation or planning a separate celebration back home, establishing boundaries helps manage expectations.

2. Virtual Participation Options:

In the digital age, technology provides a myriad of opportunities for virtual participation. Consider live streaming the ceremony, creating a private online space for well-wishes, or arranging video calls with family members unable to attend in person.

3. Plan a Celebration Back Home:

For those who can't make the journey, plan a celebration back home. This could be a casual gathering, a dinner, or a party. Share photos and videos from the elopement, ensuring that everyone feels included in the post-celebration joy.

4. Emphasize the Intimacy of the Experience:

Help your family understand the beauty of an intimate elopement. Emphasize that your decision is not a reflection of your relationship with them but a choice to create a deeply personal and meaningful experience for your wedding day.

Planning an elopement with family involves more than just logistics; it's about nurturing relationships and ensuring everyone feels valued. By communicating openly, setting clear boundaries, and managing expectations, you can create a day that not only celebrates your love but also the bonds that matter most.

Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to elopements. Each journey is unique, and the key is to tailor your plans to suit both your desires and the expectations of your loved ones. In doing so, you'll craft a day filled with love, joy, and cherished moments that will be remembered for a lifetime.

How to include your family in your elopement:


Break into two days.

Eloping over two days offers a unique blend of shared celebration and intimate moments, allowing for a more profound connection with both family and your partner:

1. Sharing the Joy with Family: Breaking the elopement into two days ensures that your family is an integral part of the celebration. Day one can be dedicated to traditional wedding elements, allowing everyone to witness and participate in the union, creating memories together.

2. Intimate Exploration: Day two is reserved for just the two of you, providing an opportunity to explore a specific location intimately. This not only enhances the romance but also allows for a more personal connection with the chosen setting.

3. Private Vow Reading: Having family on the first day allows you to share your vows publicly, while day two provides a more private space for an additional vow reading. This can be a deeply emotional and intimate moment shared exclusively between you and your partner.

Breaking your elopement into two days provides the best of both worlds – a shared celebration with family and an intimate exploration of a specific location just the two of you. The inclusion of private vow readings adds an extra layer of depth and authenticity to your elopement experience. By carefully planning and curating each day, you can create a wedding celebration that is not only memorable but also reflective of your unique love story.

Go shopping for wedding attire together.

Do you have some close family members who won’t be joining you on your elopement? They can still be involved! Take special care of these guys by bringing them on your hunt for wedding attire!

Designing a Ceremony with Family in Mind:

Readings: Encourage family members to participate in the ceremony by sharing readings. This not only involves them but also adds layers of emotion and personal connection to the ceremony.

Seating Arrangements: Consider arranging seating in a semi-circle or intimate setting to create a more inclusive atmosphere. This setup allows family members to feel like an integral part of the ceremony, rather than mere spectators.

Include them in other intimate moments.

You don’t necessarily need to have your family at your actual elopement ceremony to include them in your day. They can be a part of your ceremony, or, they don’t have to be included in this special part of your day at all — it’s entirely up to you.

We’ve had couples who invite their families into their elopement preparations on the day of their ceremony — the getting ready, putting the dress on, the first look, etc. — before sending them off to have a beautiful, and entirely private, elopement ceremony exactly when and where they want to.

Remember, this is your day, so if you want to include your family in your elopement, but also want to have an intimate and private ceremony with just your partner, include them in other parts of the day (like the first look, getting ready, the reception after, and more) can be a really beautiful and meaningful alternative.

Plan a celebration with them.

Remember, you can do this however you choose. Maybe you want to say your private vows alone in nature with your partner, and then say some more traditional vows in your second family ceremony. Maybe you only want to have one intimate ceremony, but then have your family there to witness your cake cutting and first dance. Or you can just do your own thing and have a full-on reception later. There are a ton of different ways to do this, but remember to give yourself permission to do exactly what speaks to you as a couple.

Choosing Family-Friendly Activities in Iceland:

Scenic Tours: Plan a scenic tour that family members can enjoy before or after the ceremony. Whether it's exploring waterfalls, geysers, or glaciers, these excursions create memorable bonding moments amidst Iceland's natural wonders.

Photography Sessions: Include family members in the photography sessions. Capture candid moments of laughter and joy against the backdrop of Iceland's beauty. Involving them in these sessions ensures everyone feels an active part of the celebration.

Picnic or Celebration Meal: Organize a picnic or a special celebration meal with traditional Icelandic fare. This provides an opportunity for family members to share stories, connect, and celebrate the union in a more relaxed setting.

Adventure Together: For the more adventurous, plan activities like horseback riding, hiking, or even a gentle glacier walk that family members can partake in. This not only includes them in the experience but also adds an element of shared adventure to your elopement day.